Never mess with the cleaning lady
by Freywa
Summary: A story about how Loki learns why one shouldn't mess with Tony Starks cleaning lady


It was a normal day in Manhattan. Nothing new had happen or what so ever. People were running around, screaming in panic as they were evacuated from the battlefield Manhattan had become from Loki, once again, trying to take over earth, and the Avengers trying to stop him.

Loki had the advantage for a time, and then the Avengers got it, and then Loki again. Very much like a ping-pong game.

The Avengers had the upper-hand when Loki was smashed into a house. Again nothing new. Whenever the Avengers battled another super-villain, they, and the villain, would be smashed into the buildings, or through them, but never into the building, as in, in and staying in the rooms. That thing only happened with Loki. Heck, but it did always happen when fighting Loki.

The thing is, it was just that the building Loki had been smashed into was a pretty special one, and it had nothing to do with the fact that it was Starks penthouse. Oh no, the special thing was that it had just been…

"I JUST CLEANED THAT!" A female voice shoot through the bricks and dust Loki laid in, and the would-be-demi-god quickly got to his feet to see who dared to shout at him. What he saw surprised him. The female was a normal mere mortal, below the normal mortals even. A cleaning lady. A servant for the mortals. "Get out of here" He was in no mood to kill her, but he wanted to be alone the few minutes he had before the Avengers would come rushing in.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I SPEND ON THAT?!" The woman stomped her foot angrily to the floor. An odd reaction, perhaps she did not knew who he was? He rose to his full height, not caring to dust himself off as he still was a god in her eyes with or without it.

"You'd better get out when a god tells you too, mortal." She pushed her chest up and got an almost insanely angry glint in her eyes at his words. She looked very much like the kind of woman that could make any (mortal) man piss his pants out of sheer fear for her anger, but Loki did not see that. "I used 4 hours on that! And then you! You! Just waltz in here! Reducing my hard work to a freaking pile of dust! And-! And then you just tell me to get out!? 4 HOURS WAISTED!" "HOW DARE YOU TALK LIKE THAT TOO ME MORTAL! YOU ARE BUT A SERVANT!" What had the world come too? How could such a lowlife creature dare talk to him like that? Him. A god!

"Loki! Don't you dare touch her!" Rogers, along with the rest of the Avengers had entered the building, and Rogers had all his hero-senses up, seeing a helpless lady standing before the super villain. Stark put an arm up in front of the Captain, stopping the whole team from attacking Loki. "Did you just destroy Miss Riddles work?" The iron man asked the dark haired demi-god.

Loki rolled his eyes. "It cannot have had any significance, she is but a mere cleaning lady." "Not of any…? Mere cleaning…?" The woman, 'Miss Riddles', looked at Loki for a moment, seemingly at a loss of words out of pure fury. "Let me tell you something, 'Mr God'" She said, mockingly, as she picked up her dripping wet mop. "First of… I am a woman! Second of… I am on my period!"

"What's a 'period'?" Thor interrupted, ever so stupid. "It means. That I'm bleeding from my fucking virgina!" All the blood drained from the thunders' face and his eyes turned wide at her reply, but no one noticed that as Miss Riddles had turned her attention back to Loki. "Third off… I work for Tony fugding Stark! So I can take that he messes with some of my cleaning, but you, some random idiot to come here and-!"

"I AM NO IDIOT, WOMAN!" Really, Loki did not help his own case, at all. But he was in the middle of an attack, and then some stupid servant mortal believed herself to be more than him, merely because she worked for the tin man. He did not realize his mistake before something wet hit his head.

He had not truly looked at her as he shouted at her, and she had run at him, with her mop high above her head. Her mop, which she had let 'fall' down on the demi-god, again and again, with the strength of a furious woman.

Loki could avoid her mop just as well as he could avoid the floor when the Hulk used him as a ragdoll. Which meant, he had no change whatsoever.

Said Hulk laughed at the scene. "Me like her. Her smash stupid reindeer." Tony joined Hulks laugh, though his had no sound - he had experienced the mop whenever he had come home as a drunken mess. Hawkeye made up for Tony's lack of sound - he was literally rolling on the floor laughing. The Widow smirked a tiny bit and walked out, as there would be no further need for the Avengers right there. On her way out she passed Rogers, whom cowered behind Thor - The poor captain had never been good with women. Thor, Loki's brother, did not comment on the captains behaviour, and did not try to save his brother. He could see a bit of Sif in Miss Riddles, and knew better than to interfere with her anger. Loki had asked for it himself.

Miss Riddles let out a huff after a while and let her mop down to her side as she looked down at the mess of bricks, dust, green and gold. She was not cleaning that. She looked over at her boss. "Mr Stark, sir. I will go out with the garbage and then I'll take a vacation." "Sure, good vacation then Miss Riddles."

Agent Coulson was out on his normal driving-through-the-destroyed-city-trip later that day, when something gold and green caught his eye. He stopped his car, got out and walked over to a garbage can. … He made a mental note to ask Stark why Loki laid in the garbage can. He then walked back to his car and continued his trip.


End file.
